Step 03: How it works (quotations)

Willingness
… the key to Step Three was the willingness to allow a Higher Power to take a hand in our lives. Many of us were angry or uncomfortable with the concept of G-d that we had learned early in our lives. But as we shed old ideas that made us feel isolated or unworthy, we began to understand new and hopeful spiritual concepts. We grew in the faith that a loving and caring Higher Power would guide and protect us.

Working the S-Anon Program, page 24

Willingness is the readiness to take positive action … It becomes clear that when we are ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’ and in pain, we are ready to do whatever it takes. It becomes clear that without on-going willingness, spiritual growth is not possible. … Willingness is an attitude that stems from humility—how teachable we are. Many of us experience increased willingness when we ask our Higher Power for it.

Working the S-Anon Program, page 52

Believing that G-d could work miracles in my life was one thing; being willing to step aside and let Him do His work was something else. …

In All Our Affairs, page 107

Am I willing to give up the pain of trying to control my partner? … Am I willing to admit that I am powerless over him as well as my own emotional reactions? Am I willing to admit that my life is unmanageable when I react in this way?

In All Our Affairs, page 109

When I’m not willing to let go, I’m trying to control. When I’m not willing to listen, I’m self-righteous. When I’m not willing to accept reality, I’m in denial. But my life can be as exhilarating as tubing the river if I develop the habit of meeting each situation with openness, ready to ‘go with the flow’ and see what happens.

How Al-Anon Works, page 279

Am I willing to try to turn my problems over? What could help me to be willing? Page 36

Path to Recovery

Honesty with self—I have problems I cannot solve

Honesty is commitment to the truth. In our spiritual illness, many of us convinced ourselves that things were not the way they seemed. This state of mind is sometimes called ‘being in denial’. In recovery we are invited to move out of denial and face reality.

Working the S-Anon Program, page 48

During the drinking years I played ‘Let’s pretend’ so diligently and convincingly that I myself believed we were a ‘normal’ family and something as un-nice as alcoholism just couldn’t happen to us. …

In All Our Affairs, page 81

… personal honesty and humility can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot.

ODAT, page 170

Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism. Just as alcoholics often deny their drinking problems, many of us who have been affected by this disease deny our problems as well … many of us learned to pretend that everything was just fine.

Courage to Change 145

It takes a commitment to honesty to admit that someone we love has a drinking problem, that alcoholism and many other things are beyond our control, that there is a source of help greater than ourselves, and that we need the care of that Higher Power.

Courage to Change 175

We know that we cannot control everything and everyone in our lives … Page 30

Path to Recovery

I also had to turn the problems of the people I was sponsoring over to their higher power. I did not have the power to solve their problems. Page 34

Path to Recovery

Honesty with self—you have a solution that works

The Twelve Steps of S-Anon which we try to follow are not easy. At first, we may think that some of them are unnecessary, but if we are honest, open minded, and willing to apply the principles of the Twelve Steps to our lives, we find that the benefit can be limitless, including G-d’s gift of serenity.

Working the S-Anon Program, page 119

We come to Al-Anon because it has something we want. We come to get something for ourselves.

ODAT 288

What first brought me to Al-Anon? The promise of relief from an intolerable burden.

ODAT 160

The group taught me to reconsider how I understood G-d. Page 170

From Survival to Recovery

Giving

We give of ourselves and the more we give, the more we get.

ODAT, page 304

The same spirit of giving must take place in every department of my life, particularly with those near me.

ODAT 160

Instead of questioning what life is giving us, perhaps we might profit more by asking what we ourselves can give. … Every moment can be an opportunity to serve, an opportunity to change our lives … .Today I seek to be the instrument of the peace of G-d.

Courage to Change, page 188

By sharing and giving to other people what I had learned, I actually helped make the Steps a vital part of my own life. Page 34

Path to Recovery

Personal stories

We come together in an Al-Anon group for the purpose of sharing experience, strength, and hope with each other.

ODAT 287

Self-Care

We learn to treat ourselves with gentleness and compassion.

ODAT

Path has to be followed thoroughly

The twelve steps of S-Anon help me put into daily practice the spiritual teachings I have learned over the years.

Reflections of Hope

Honesty with myself

We felt free to shed old concepts of G-d that made us feel ‘apart from’ or unworthy, and we began to understand new and hopeful spiritual concepts.

Page 15, Blue Book, Twelve Steps of S-Anon

Adopting new beliefs

Until now, we may have believed that the sexaholic and our own compulsion concerns were the only things we needed to turn over to G-d. Now we are called upon to surrender our will and our lives, to surrender completely ourselves.

Twelve Steps of S-Anon

When we are willing to give up our lives, we truly gain them.

Reflections of hope

We set aside our wilfulness and determination to be right and believe that are higher power, however we may define it, will guide us in the right direction. Page 29

Path to Recovery

I realized this made it necessary for me to examine my beliefs … . My concept of G-d changed. Page 31

Path to Recovery

I decided to throw out my past concept of G-d so I could start over with a clean slate. Cautiously, I began to talk to him. I experimented with prayer and meditation. I spent months getting comfortable with this new relationship. My sponsor let me take my time while she gave me encouragement and suggestions.  When I felt comfortable and safe in this new and special relationship, I began to redefine my concept of my Higher Power. Page 35

Path to Recovery

I felt abandoned by G-d, but slowly I came to believe that my Higher Power never abandons me and can restore my sanity. Page 259

From Survival to Recovery

G-d is all powerful

The key to Step 3 is willingness to trust our higher Power.

Twelve Steps of S-Anon

We tried to play G-d in our own lives with disastrous results.

Reflections of Hope

To see this Power at work, we have to give G-d something to work with. Let’s begin with ourselves.

Twelve Steps of S-Anon

We are like drowning swimmers; struggling to save our lives, we sink even deeper; by relaxing, we float to the surface.

Twelve Steps of S-Anon

Personal relationship with G-d

When we are willing to give up our lives, we truly gain them.

Twelve Steps of S-Anon

Now instead we can depend upon a HP with the strength to guide us in times of need and indecision.

Reflections of Hope

The key to Step 3 is willingness to trust our higher Power.

Reflections of Hope

I now know on a deeper level that G-d of my understanding will always be there to strengthen me if I surrender my life.

Reflections of Hope

Asking for help from a higher power … gives us assurance that we are not alone. Page 29

Path to Recovery

I needed to have my own relationship with G-d … it was about my own personal relationship with a Higher Power, a power greater than myself who I might choose to call G-d. Page 31

Path to Recovery

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