Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
- The path has to be followed thoroughly to work
- That means all Twelve Steps (plus the application of the Traditions and Concepts in my relationships and work, respectively)
- Timescale?
- In early AA in the 1930s: a few days or weeks at most
- Today, we're maybe more thorough, especially in Steps Four and Eight, so a few months at most
- Dangers of dragging it out:
- Spiritual effect can be lost
- Learnings are not consolidated and are lost
- Old thinking needs to be smashed, not chipped away at
- Momentum lost, ego returns, resistance halts the process
- Completion is then unlikely
- Too long until we're helping others: that's where the real treasure lies
- They say 'rarely' have we seen a person fail: I say 'only in exceptional circumstances'
- Maybe we know more now / maybe our support structures are more robust than in 1939
- Key requirement: honesty
- To me, this means honesty with myself
- That I have a problem I cannot solve
- That you have a solution that works
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.
- The stories are detailed (i.e. very personal)
- '... we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, "Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing."'
- But the disclosures are general (i.e. universal)
- See below: (a), (b), and (c)
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
- Absolute or near-absolute phrases
- Thoroughly
- Complete give themselves
- Willing to go to any length
- Fearless and thorough
- We let go absolutely
- Half measures availed us nothing
- Complete abandon
- This means:
- Adopting new beliefs
- Training my mind to run along new pathways
- E.g. applying ideas to problems as they arise
- E.g. apply the Serenity Prayer to situations in my day
- Taking new actions
- The Twelve-Step life in general
- Using the Steps as the structure of my day
- Sponsoring
- Home group
- Carrying the message outside the fellowship
- Taking part in the structure of the fellowship
- Being of service at work
- Being of service at home & with others
- Being of service in the community & society
- The new beliefs, thoughts, and actions for an Anon: some examples from my life
- Put on my own oxygen mask first: I'm of no use to anyone if I'm in a devil of a state myself
- Do a few things well not many things badly
- Stop pulling weeds out of other people's yards
- Get out of your driving seat and back in mine
- Keep my sails out of other people's wind
- Keep my wind out of other people's sails
- Let it break around me
- Leave people to face the consequences of their actions
- 'Does it need to be said ... by me ... right now?'
- Take time off
- Decorate my life with pleasant things
- Power my service by love, not guilt or fear
- Why this insistence on absolute abandonment?
- Physical metaphor:
- When you abandon ship, if any part of you is remaining on the ship, you're still on the ship
- The old belief system & the new belief system are opposites
- E.g.
- 'I am responsible for me, not for you'
- 'You are responsible for you, not for me'
- These are the opposite of how I was living before
- I can't combine opposites
- I can't keep my mouth shut and speak at same time
- I can't interfere and refrain from interfering at the same time
- I can't worry and trust at the same time
- At least not without confusion
- God is all-powerful
- This means
- God is is the source of my power
- All problems can be solved with God
- What does solved mean?
- The problem is solved practically
- The problem remains but I'm OK with it
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol— that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
- A suggestion is a polite offering
- It does not mean there is an alternative available
- It does not mean I can get the same results another way
- I am free not to follow the suggestion
- But I am not free of the consequences of the choice
Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.’’ Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
- It seems a lot, but we only have to do the next right action
- There is always a next right action that is within our grasp
- Those right actions build up over time
- We make 100% effort (see above)
- But the results will not be perfect, so we must be prepared for that and OK with that
- As with a child learning a musical instrument: diligent practice will always produce a good result but will not necessarily produce a virtuoso
- The same is true in the world of the Spirit
- The only danger is to excuse myself in advance from making a 100% effort
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
- Pitched from an Anon point of view:
- I am (al)anonic:
- I am powerless over alcohol / the alcoholic / alcoholism
- I am powerless over my reaction to the alcoholic / alcoholism
- I am powerless over my other unhelpful patterns
- You can't fix me; I can't fix me
- I can recover if I seek a relationship with God
- Religion might help
- But a personal relationship with God is what I need to recover
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