Self-will
Working the S-Anon programme shines a spotlight on who I am, and how I operate in this world. I am learning that is necessary to crack open the mould in which I thought I had to live, and restructure my beliefs. Reflections of Hope 270
We can ask for the grace and the patience to seek G-ds will for just one day at a time. Circumstances will always change tomorrow. We can be comforted by the fact that even hardships in life have a way of working towards the good for those who honour G-d. S-Anon Twelve Steps 128
We were driven to S-Anon by near-destruction at our own hands. Self-will ran riot in our lives. S-Anon Twelve Steps 28
This Step is a challenge to each of us, personally. It suggests a decision: to Let Go and Let G-d take a hand in our affairs, which He can do only if we surrender our self-will and turn our lives over to His care. ODAT 169
I turned over my will and my life. I was beginning to understand that I had to open the door to Him. His door was already open to me. … S-Anon Twelve Steps 11
My will gets me into trouble. I aim for some goal or other, but even when I get it, I am rarely satisfied. It doesn’t make my life complete, so I raise the ante, set a new goal, and push even harder. Courage to Change May 24
… the way of life we created on self-will alone was neither satisfying nor serene. Paths to Recovery 28
Trust G-d
She reminded me that I am powerless over the reality of the present moment, but that I can have faith in a Higher Power. If I put myself in G-ds hands I will probably find I have more options than the ones I am considering. Reflections of Hope 322
He is a loving G-d … He loves me unconditionally … He is always with me … My G-d is patient … G-d is kind and understanding. Paths to Recovery 32
Do I trust my higher power to care for me? Paths to Recovery 36
Self-defeating behaviour
Many of my self-defeating behaviours are related to the ways I do not take care of myself. … The slogan live and let live helps me recall that other people have a right to live their lives as they choose. Using that slogan helps me to take action to bring the focus back to myself. Reflections of Hope 308
I remember trying to make a decision before Al-Anon … I simply couldn't make a decision—even a minor one. As I look back, I realise many things in my life that required a simple decision seem to be very complicated. Paths to Recovery 30
My trouble is my reaction to the situation
Thus we learn that not all the difficulties were created by someone else, but by us, too. ODAT 105
If I really want to be free to build a satisfying life for myself, I must first release the alcoholic from my efforts to direct and control. ODAT 107
My peace of mind depends on overcoming my negative attitudes. ODAT 130
Every time I catch myself trying to figure out other people’s motives, I’ll stop and ask myself: ‘What did I say or do that prompted the action? Why did I react to it as I did? ODAT 202
If we really want peace of mind, the first thing to realise is that it does not depend on conditions outside us, but those inside us. ODAT 155
In some way unfathomable to my human intelligence, my suffering could be the consequence of my own attitudes, actions, or neglects. ODAT 125
In general, alcoholics act, and we, who are involved with them, react … to the drinking and its consequences. In a state of intoxication, alcoholics aren’t worried about the problems their actions are creating; instead, those around the alcoholics worry for them. How Al-Anon Works 27
There is nothing wrong with working hard and producing results, but I was abusing these activities. They were socially acceptable ways to deny my feelings. Courage to Change 198
Just as we learn to stop reacting to an alcoholic’s provocation, we need not react to anyone’s opinions or prodding or be tempted to adopt a defensive or aggressive position. How Al-Anon Works 120
In fact, by coming to Al-Anon, I learned that my thoughts and attitudes were the main source of my problems. How Al-Anon Works 178
I learned that what I feel is not the fault of other people. How Al-Anon Works 197
I realised that the problem was not my situation, my husband, my latest boyfriend, or a bottle of alcohol. The problem was me. I was not of sound mind. I was not sane. How Al-Anon Works 368
I couldn't take care of myself or my family when I was emotionally upset about a loved one's drinking. From Survival to Recovery 259
Self-centered motives
What am I really searching for in my life? ODAT 101
Examine your motives. What answers would I give if I stop in the middle of such rationalization and ask myself: ‘Why am I doing this? Is this justification really honest? Are these rational reasons for my actions?’ ODAT 112
I will examine, with a sharp and honest eye, my own motives, for I need to do a lot of straight thinking about my own attitudes and actions. ODAT 130
Self-reliance
When we are troubled, and can’t see a way out, it is only because we imagine that all solutions depend upon us. ODAT 103
Although I believed in a Higher Power, I felt scared and inadequately prepared to make my decision. Paths to Recovery 34
I felt I had suffered quite enough pain and injustice in His ‘care’ and trusted only my own will to run my life. The group taught me to reconsider. From Survival to Recovery 170
G-d reliance
What are some examples of my attempts to play G-d in my own life and the life of others? What were the results?
If the problems I have to face seem beyond my endurance, I will not explain them to G-d: He already knows. I will not tell Him what I expect Him to do about my difficulties: He know what is best for me. ODAT 22
All true prayer somehow confesses our absolute dependence on G-d. It is a vital contact with Him. It is when we pray truly that we really are.
When we let go of an overwhelming problem and let G-d handle it for us, we find that Divine Principle truly has a part in our lives. ODAT 103
When I finally persuade myself to let go of a problem that has been tormenting me, solutions begin to unfold that I never dreamed were possible … Only when I let go and trust to a Higher Power for help. ODAT 107
Prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a Power greater than ourselves. It is an acknowledgment of our personal helplessness, which has been demonstrated to us so often in our efforts to find peace and security. ODAT 123
One thing must ultimately be accepted: few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of G-d. ODAT 275
Depending on our Higher Power can increase our independence from the opinions, needs, and demands of others. Paths to Recovery 29
… we set aside our wilfulness and determination to be right and believe that are Higher Power, however we may define it, will guide us in the right direction. Paths to Recovery 29
I have learned to listen to him and to give him an opportunity to work in my life. Paths to Recovery 32
Wherever I was led seemed to be right … I believe that G-d can help me handle my situation. Paths to Recovery 34
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